A Quick Guide to Worry

I love this quote from Erma Bombeck: "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." Yet, we sure do have a house full of rocking chairs, don't we?

What is worry?

In general, worry is a natural response to an anticipated real or imagined future problem. It’s defined as a chain of negative thoughts about the same or different topics that can have negative consequences in the future. A solution is not (yet) reached, and the same thoughts often return. It’s difficult to stop worrying once the thoughts are there, putting you in a thought trap that’s mentally draining and often disturbing and intensive.

Why do we worry?

Yep, we’re actually wired for worrying. Our primitive, emotional brain believes something bad is going to happen and starts wondering “what if it happens?” It wants us to be safe and protected and craves stability and certainty. You might have heard of “the elephant (emotions) and the rider (logic)” analogy of how we think and behave. Well, when we worry the elephant is on the run.

The truth about worry.

Many people believe that worrying about the future can help prevent harm by preparing you and enabling you to perform better and find solutions. In reality, worrying causes stress which lowers your cognitive performance (that's assuming you’re not in a short-term, life-threatening situation).

The brain does not know the difference between what it sees and what it thinks about.

Research has found an 88% overlap in how the brain processes imagined information and observed information.[1] So, even if we’re only imagining something bad is going to happen, our brain still thinks the worry is real, giving our elephant more reasons to worry!

Chronic worry is correlated with poor emotional regulation.

When studying people with generalized anxiety disorder (characterized by excessive, uncontrollable, and irrational worry), researchers found correlations with:[2]

• reduced emotional regulation

• reduced emotional clarity

• difficulty accepting emotions

• the inability to engage in goal-directed behavior when stressed

• decreased impulse control

• ineffective strategies for regulation

Worries are often irrational.

Worry can be broken into two degrees. 1st degree worry is when we worry about a future event, and 2nd degree worry is when we worry about worrying. And this is where panic attacks come in. You end up creating a feedback loop:

Worrying Thoughts ➡︎ Physiological Response ➡︎ Worrying Thoughts

And then, all of these thoughts can lead to worst-case scenario thinking, snowball thinking, and catastrophizing.

Our brains don’t automatically jump from remote possibility to imminent danger all at once. That wouldn’t make sense. But going from a “remote possibility” thought to a “probably won’t happen” thought to a “possibly happen” thought and then “imminent danger” is a logical thought process. Hence your worries feel real!

How do we stop worrying?

First of all, don’t worry about worrying. It’s going to happen from time to time. So, show some tenderness and compassion for your worries, honor your feelings, and give yourself grace. Take a breath, give yourself time, and then begin to dispute the thoughts by putting things into perspective.

In Thursday’s post, I’ll share some practical ways to combat worrying, including:

• changing your beliefs

• reframing your thoughts

• allowing designated worry time

• Worst Case (WC) – Best Case (BC) – Most Likely (ML) exercises

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[1] Kreiman G, Koch C, Fried I. Imagery neurons in the human brain. Nature. 2000 Nov 16;408(6810):357-61. doi: 10.1038/35042575. PMID: 11099042.

[2] Salters-Pedneault, Kristalyn & Roemer, Lizabeth & Tull, Matthew & Rucker, LaTanya & Mennin, Douglas. (2006). Evidence of Broad Deficits in Emotion Regulation Associated with Chronic Worry and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Cognitive Therapy and Research. 469-480. 10.1007/s10608-006-9055-4.